The road to wasted tax payer dollars is paved with good intentions. One good intention that has floundered and fizzled for years is the government funded state to state abstinence program. I was reading a subway newspaper the other day, where they described how several states have “pulled out” of the program. It also appears that several states “stayed in it” just to get the funding, which was sometimes used partially for other purposes. Even now, that’s not enough to keep them interested.

Bush claims that the nationwide abstinence programs have reduced the number of teens that are engaging in Coitus (pronounced sex). How can someone even prove that? Surveys? Focus groups? Truth serum jabbed into the arm, while a stun gun is administered to the inner thigh? All jokes aside, at least for the rest of this paragraph, does he really think all teens are telling the truth about whether they have shared their goods with someone else or kept them safely tucked away behind a chastity belt?(Note: Males are more likely to lie and say they have had sex when they haven’t, which also skews the numbers. Masculinity requires extreme face saving measures.)

AIDS and death aren’t even enough to scare people away from sex. Telling kids they will go to hell for it only means they are more likely to do it, especially when they get some liberation. We all know someone who lived a sheltered life, got away from home, then rebelled and lost control of him or herself. I know a few people that fit the bill on this one..that shall remain nameless until they anger me and force me to react immaturely on the Internet.

Yet still, Bush and the far right conservatives will claim that the programs are working. Perhaps it is working in rural towns where it takes too much effort to scurry miles down a dirt road to get it poppin’ in a barn on a bail of hay. Maybe even in some of the more affluent suburbs, where spending money can cause the same exhilaration. But I strongly doubt the programs have done anything for the inner city urban areas. Then again, they haven’t done anything in fishing industry towns like Gloucester, MA.

To wrap it up, peeps just need to wrap it up. Even if some should happen to make it through high school without pumping or being pumped, college is 4 years of heavy temptations with at least a year being packed in a dorm with “love hungry” members of the opposite sex. And for that matter, who said everyone will go to college? That’s a whole different blog entry…